Why I Run

Sweat, tears, and fun. Yes, tears and fun can integrate into the same experience when you run. Today started with tears for my three year old, Gideon as he ran his first race in the Valley Harvest Marathon Kids Run. I knew trouble was ahead when Gideon fell asleep on the hour-long drive to the race, which meant waking him up and facing a cranky boy shortly before his turn. To my surprise, he seemed excited when he woke up, remembering what he had been running around the house practicing for the past few weeks. Then, in the registration line, the tears began. Most kids would be excited to receive a new T-shirt. Not Gideon. He was NOT wearing it for the race. Then he refused to wear his nametag pinned to his shirt. He cried and cried until his race was about to begin. I told him, "Okay, don't worry about the T-shirt and nametag. Just run! This is supposed to be fun!!!" So, he ran as fast as his little legs would carry him for 200 meters. Unfortunately, the race was 400 meters. When he realized he was only halfway, he sat down on the track and wailed a heart-wrenching cry. I tried to hold his hand and run with him. He was not moving. So, I picked him up my 37 pound boy and carried him for 200 meters until we crossed the finish line. Gideon was still crying. He was second-last (another parent was carried his little guy behind me), but we did it. He still received his special green medal for finishing the race.

Then, it was Kierra's turn. My six year old is small for her age, but mighty. She is a determined young lady. She didn't train for this race, and I have to admit I was not confident she could run 800 meters without stopping. But, I encouragingly said, "You can do it!" When the horn sounded, she was off. In the pack of kids, I lost track of her, so I jogged to the other end of the green to catch sight of her on the track. She was not there near the back... had she dropped to the ground like her brother? I ran over to see... not there. I raced back to the finish line in time to see her almost there! I couldn't find her because she was in the front pack of kids!! Face white and blochy, sweat beaded on her forehead, she was running her hardest, not giving up! She probably finished 12th out of 30. I was so proud!

Caleb... my competitive yet emotional boy. I prayed he wouldn't have a breakdown if he didn't win. He gave it his all, and when I saw him approaching the finish line in 9th place out of 30 something 8-year olds, sweating and smiling ear to ear, I was beaming too.

So, tomorrow it's my turn to run my first 5k. I'm nervous but excited. It's so much more than just running a physical race for me. I run because I need to. It is my natural therapy, a healthy escape from the craziness of life. No, it's not always fun. I have run in pouring rain, coming home completely drenched. Sometimes I give up earlier than intended because my stomach is upset from running too soon after a big meal or because my bunions are giving me pain. So why run if there is pain involved? Because three and a half years ago I started dealing with anxiety and depression that was negatively affecting me as a wife, as a mom, and as a person. Running clears my mind. It gives me energy for my day and gives me a new perspective. I am a better mom and wife when I run regularly. No, I don't run marathons or even the 10k yet, but I have a goal, and that goal keeps me striving ahead. Tomorrow is the 5k, and next year hopefully the 10k. My plan is to run the half-marathon the year I turn 40.

It's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, and I can't think of a better time to run a race. I'm thankful for a healthy body to run and an amazing husband who supports me in it.  I'm thankful for my silly, wonderful kids who give us so much joy.  I give thanks to God who has healed me in so many ways the past few months. He continues to give me strength to fight this battle of depression. "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Phil.3:13,14) Some days I feel like going to sleep and not ever waking up, but as I fix my eyes on Jesus, I "run with perseverance the race marked out for me." Not a physical race, but the life I'm given. Unfortunately each of us has events and circumstances in life we cannot control and bring us hurt and pain, but perseverance for me means trusting God with every breath. Trusting that He really is good and that He really does love me. "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."(Phil.4:13). Strength to run a race, and strength to beat the battle of depression and anxiety for good.

Yes, running involves sweat and sometimes even tears, but it is fun too. Maybe not the actual running part, but how it feels when the run is completed. I won't give up in the middle of my race like my sweet Gideon, but I may cry when it's over. Tears of JOY.