Loneliness

I often wonder, how many moms are lonely? If you're a stay-at home mom, do you ever feel the ache of loneliness as you cook, clean, buy groceries, and look after your kids? If you work outside the home, do you ever feel that similar ache away from your kids but surrounded by people? I have moved nine times in the past twelve years, so loneliness is a normal part of adjusting to a new place, new home, and new friends for me. But I wonder, those of you who have lived in the same place most of your life, do you ever have similar feelings? I have lived hundreds of miles away from my family for most of my married life, so I often envy those who have their moms nearby to visit or to have the freedom to drop off the kids without much advance notice for a much needed break. I did have the opportunity to live near my parents for two years, and I cherish those moments Now I chat with my mom on the phone from the other side of Canada.

The thought I have today is, how many of us are in our homes feeling lonely next door to another mom who is feeling the same way? And why are we not together more? For me, my excuse is often, "I can't have anyone over today! My house is a disaster! They will think I am the most disorganized person they've ever met!" Especially after yesterday. My stubborn, yet absolutely adorable 3-year old refused to have a bowel movement for 9 days. Yesterday, on the 10th day, he was in excruciating pain. With a white face, he shook violently while he tried to do his business, crying in the most heart-wrenching wail. As I hugged him and rubbed his tummy, I shook with tears too. Seeing your child in pain is one of the hardest things for a mom, especially when you have done everything possible to help the situation! After a week of prune juice, bran, flax seed, blueberries, and medicine, I finally prayed, "Lord, please let Gideon poop today! The poor guy is bloated and in excruciating pain!" Well, God answered that prayer, and He must have a sense of humor, because poop was everywhere! Some made it to the potty, some in the pull-up, more on the bathroom floor, the bathtub walls and even on the soap. Piles of poop littered his white bedroom carpet. So... do I get upset or do I thank God??? Gideon's tummy feels much better today, and of course I cleaned up the stinky mess yesterday, but in the midst of everything, including a trip to the doctor's office, I had no time to do everything else. My laundry is unfolded on the floor. My dirty dishes from yesterday are still in the sink. The vacuuming didn't get done and I still haven't put makeup on at 10:30am. So, does anyone want to come for coffee? I guess what I wonder is, if you are lonely, and I am too, can we still get together in sweat pants and no makeup, with dishes in the sink, and enjoy each other's company? Can we laugh about the joys and trials of motherhood and share a box of Oreos since I didn't have a chance to bake those blueberry scones I wanted to before you came over?

I think that true beauty is not from perfect clothes, sparkly jewelry, and a spotless house. It comes from within. I want to invite people over who don't mind my imperfect life and will share theirs with me. Let me know if you can come over, and I'll put on the coffee and grab that box of Oreos!

Something Beautiful

Finally, I am starting a blog. Bear with me as I don't know the details of how this works yet (I don't know how to make my webpage look beautiful yet!!), but I love to write, and instead of keeping my thoughts in my journal, I am going to share them with whoever is interested in reading them.

My title "Something Beautiful" came to me this weekend. We recently moved back to Nova Scotia, so I had the privilege of walking the route I used to walk, run, and bike in the little town my husband and I lived in 10 years ago. Now we live close to the city, but those country walks were invigorating for the soul... winding roads, bright red barns, and black and white cows grazing in the pasture. My husband used to say that in Nova Scotia, the grass is "so green it hurts your eyes." Growing up on the prairies, I didn't know what he was talking about. Until we moved here. So on Sunday as I was enjoying my walk, I passed by a particular home and stopped. And smiled. And took pictures with my cell phone. I remembered this "haunted house". Ten years ago the faded black paint was peeling, the shutters were broken, and the roof was crumbling. It was unloved. I have always loved big old houses and wondered what it would look like with a little care. Now I know! And it is beautiful! So beautiful that I will post a picture as soon as I figure out how to connect my cell phone to the computer. This cranberry red country style home now has fresh paint, new shingles, and a welcoming veranda. The yard is manicured and the home is beautiful. It's amazing what love could do.

It made me think about us as people... we are all loved by the Creator of the Universe, but unfortunately we often don't let him do the work on us that needs to be done. We're too busy. Too tired. Too stressed, or even too bitter. We all have deep hurts, but when we are able to surrender them to God, He can make us into something beautiful from the inside out. The Bible says God sings over us, so He must smile over us, and maybe He even take pictures with his cell phone... wait, He doesn't need pictures. He is our Creator after all.

God is working on me... and He is not finished with me yet. Life is a journey, but I know that as I walk this journey, I have Someone walking it with me who wants to make me into something beautiful. I hope you will join this journey with me.